No Memories Left to Haunt Me
by Faythie
Summary: ......To be forgotten is worse then death... Postgame SquallXRinoa
1. Strange Meeting

**A Strange Meeting**

_She walked down a long path filled with people lights and buildings. Well at least she thought they were people. The shapes of their bodies were humanlike but…they lacked eyes, they lacked noses and mouths. Nothing to see with, nothing to smell with, nothing to respond with. They lacked the basic features for a face. Nothing to _respond to_. Soon they begin to fill her with fear when she would see only their heads facing her. _

_She continued to walk down the street looking for anyone she knew. Soon she gazed onto a man …one she thought she knew. He looks way too familiar for her not to. He had chestnut brown hair and what looked like from a distance, a warm kind smile. _

_Wait, was he... smiling at her? She could barely see his eyes from she was standing, but looking at them gave her a feeling of comfort. He began to walk towards her. With every step he took toward her, his face became blurry. Was it her fault people lost their faces? Is that why they were staring at her when she walked down the street? Soon within about two feet of her, his face was gone. Her eyes widened in shock. She was hoping he might be able to help her._

"_Hey, what's wrong?" The figure spoke to her. "You ok?"_

_She didn't answer him. How could she speak to a person without seeing their expression? What if he was laughing at her? He was the first to come to her after all this time, many people could've seen her wandering helplessly. Maybe he was just being nice._

"_Rinoa? " _

_She turned around looking for whoever he was talking to. Maybe that person might help her more than this guy. She didn't want to offend him but she didn't know what was going on and she was scared. She heard him chuckle behind her. Well at least she could hear his reactions._

"_Yes dummy I'm talking to you. Who else?" _

_She looked at him. Rinoa? Was that her name? She couldn't remember. She looked at the window in one of the stores...What she saw was a woman with the body figure of sixteen, with long ebony hair and ivory skin...but ...in the window she was like the rest of them, nothing to distinguish herself with. She, like them carried no face on her head. She gasped and took few steps back. Suddenly there was a long and loud buzzing noise in her ears. So loud, it made her fall to the ground. She heard the man call that name again in a worried tone. Her eyes shot open._

"Huh? " I rolled over when hearing the alarm clock falling off the bed to the floor with a loud thud. "Ow! What the crap? I know I didn't set it that loud!" I checked the clock and saw it was at the highest point of volume.

"Oh…" I said as I rubbed my back, feeling like an idiot. I sighed "Well no use just sitting here."

I quickly got up and fixed the bed, got out of my white silk nightgown and searched though the closet looking for the uniform. I sighed and kept looking. I always lose things but I didn't think it was possible to lose a uniform. I get up at the right time but it's not any good if I'm late because of my messy lifestyle. Maybe I was just having an off morning.

"Aha! " I grabbed the navy blue outfit with silver accents on the collar and along the sleeves. I liked it a lot. It was very good looking especially on the guys here. I felt my face redden at the thought.

Faces.

I was reminded of that dream. It was really odd. I couldn't tell whether it was me in it or if I was another person. When I looked into the window it sure looked like me. The body anyway. What an awful dream, enough that I would consider it a nightmare. Being in that sort of confusion, state of fear, and the feeling of being lost was so… scary. I wouldn't want that to really happen to me. I would put that thought aside for now, and talk to him about it later to see what he thinks. I opened the drawer on the bureau and took the cute long yellow ribbon from it. I wrapped it along my collar and tied it to look like a bow. I brushed my hair and put it up in a ponytail.

I walked out of my room and stretched my arms. Yawning I checked the time on my watch. "7:45 on the dot. It looks like it gonna be a good day!" I smiled being proud of myself for waking up at the right time today for the first time. Even while losing the uniform which was just at the bottom of my closet. How it ended up there I will never know.

"No oversleeping today? That's shocking. I usually have to go and you wake up" I heard a familiar voice say to me. I turned around and stuck my tongue out at him. He smiled and gave a small chuckle. I would love it when he would smile or laugh because he rarely did it but mostly because it was so cute! I smiled back at him.

"Well I actually set the alarm today" I told him proudly. "And finally got up in time!" I grinned at him.

"That's good." he walked up to me and put his arms around my waist, giving me a morning hug. I felt his nose press against the top of head. I wrapped my arms around his neck and lay my head on his chest, taking in his scent. "Good morning Rinoa."

"Morning Squall" I replied, giving him a quick peck on the lips. "So, what are we doing today?" I was trying to hint at least a date. Which always he seemed too busy to go on. I understood why, he was busy with his work. His position as Commander of Balamb Garden always gave him too much to do. Though I understood it, but still made me feel a bit sad, lonely, and sometimes even a bit angry. I would never show this to him, I didn't want to cause him worry because of me. I've done so too many times in the past.

"Well today I'm going to do some classification rounds on paper, look at the new recruits to Garden, fix up the budget, and order in some new food..."

I knew it.

He stopped talking and looked at me with curious eyes. He began to stroke my face lightly and looked me straight in eyes.

"What's wrong?"

I shook my head as a response. But I knew if I said anything or did anything that gave him the idea I was going to say "nothing" he wouldn't believe me. He knew me too well. I figured that I might as well give him an honest answer.

"It's just that…" I sighed and looked down, not wanting him to see my face, which I'm sure looked pathetic. "…we don't get to spend much time together anymore. I have my classes and you have your work. I thought if I became a SeeD I would be able to be with you and everyone else more, who was always on missions…I wanted to be more useful."

He stared at me for a while and gave a small chuckle. He let go of my face and gave me a small kiss on the forehead. "All I needed was the beginning, but I'm glad that you told me everything. I know what you mean though, but that's how it is Rinoa. There's not much I can do about it. But tell you what? Next time I get a day off, we'll spend time together, ok?"

I sighed "ok, thanks." For trying anyways. I knew that the next day he had off was going to be a long time from now. I decided to suck it up. I didn't want to start the day being a nuisance and complaining.

…or being afraid.

That dream came back to me again. It was the strangest dream I've had in a long time. I guess it was the catch to being one of the strangest things on the planet. Being feared, and hated by people wasn't something I looked forward to when I was older. Nothing could be helped when it came to being a sorceress, but I would use my powers to help people.

Soon it was time for breakfast which for once I was also lucky to be able to get. I walked into the crowded cafeteria with Squall and looked around for Zell and Selphie, who were always there in the morning according to Quistis. It wasn't hard to spot them since Selphie's hair style was very different and Zell's tattoo stood out as well. I walked over to the table where they were sitting at.

"Hey guys, good morning" Selphie smiled at us cheerfully.

"Mornin' " I responded, smiling brightly back. "Mornin' Zell"

Zell looked up from his plate of food which was filled with golden eggs, a huge stack of pancakes, bacon, hashbrowns, and great looking toast. "Oh hey Rinoa!" he said with a mouthful of food. I laughed as Squall sat down making a sound of disgust.

"Ya know, if I knew that they had this for breakfast I would set the clock more often" I told them.

Selphie laughed "Well why do you think I keep telling you come here? It's not only I want to talk you know."

I found that hard to believe, Selphie _always_ wants to talk. But I laughed with her. I looked at the line for breakfast. It was long. I promised myself that if I ever get down here again I would put my uniform in a place I could find it, that way I could get here quicker and get my hands on the amazing looking food.

Selphie smiled at me and started to laugh. I looked at her in confusion. "What?"

"Your stomach just growled Rinny!"

I felt my face redden. I hadn't even noticed my hunger this morning.

"Did you eat anything last night?" Squall asked me.

"No, I had a lot of studying to do so I had to stay up all night." I informed him

"All night? Rinoa that would've been a perfect time to oversleep. And you set the alarm clock while you were at it?"

"Yea I didn't want to go to class late…"

"Your instructor would've understood why. That wasn't very smart."

"Yea but I'm late most of the time so she could've thought it was just an excuse."

Zell nodded again with a mouth full of food "She makesh a goodsh pointsh."

I looked back that line and smiled. It was much shorter now. I decided to get up and finally get something to eat. Squall followed me and walked beside me. I smiled at him only to get a worried expression back.

"Do you think you should go to Dr. Kawasaki and ask to take a nap?" he asked me. I was about to answer when he continued. "I don't want you to pass out due to the lack of sleep Rin."

"I'm sure I'll be fine. But If I do start to feel sick or anything like that I promise I will go to her ok?"

He nodded and continued walking in the line. We chose our breakfasts. Me getting pancakes, sausages, eggs, apple juice and toast, Squall getting 2 chocolate chip muffins and a medium chocolate milk. We sat back down with Zell and Selphie and began to eat. A large chatter was behind us.

"What are people obsessing about now?" Squall asked in an annoyed tone, hearing the girls behind us squeal.

"Apparently there are new students here and many people are finding them very interesting." Zell responded. I felt excited when he said that. New people meant new friends. It also meant I wouldn't be alone as the new recruit here.

"What are they like?" I asked.

Zell shrugged "All I know is that they're all girls and don't seem to be from around here."

I understood why people found them interesting. I continued to eat my food. I would want to meet them soon. Then I heard someone yell out "YES! This IS my natural hair color now stop asking me that!"

Our whole table turned around to see where it came from. We saw a girl who looked about the age of 15 with raven colored hair sitting there and what looked like she was laughing. Beside her was a girl looking around the age of 17 with violet colored hair and emerald eyes with a very angry look on her face. People began to back away from their table. It wasn't hard to guess that she was the one yelling a few seconds ago. And next to her was very petite small girl with sepia colored hair and gentle big cerulean eyes trying to calm the violet one down. Raven haired bust into loud laughs and held her stomach making it look like laughing was hurting. The violet one glared at her. The small one stared at her too, but had a smile on her face as well. Maybe she was trying to hold her laughter in for the sake of the sanity of Miss Violet. She soon began to giggle.

"Ah! Not you too" Violet cried out.

Most of our table laughed a bit too except for Squall who had an assumed smile on his face. The bell to go to our first class rang and we got up to throw away our trays. Zell and Selphie said their goodbyes and walked away. Squall kissed me on the cheek and parted as well. I headed off to class.

I got inside my classroom where Instructor Cain began his class about elements. He stopped when there was a knock at the door. He walked outside the classroom. Students in my classroom began to whisper. I looked at the door, wondering what was keeping him. He walked back and smiled at the class.

"I have a wonderful surprise class; today we are receiving new students. Come on in" he looked at the door. The rest of the class looked up and stared at the door in wonder who was coming through the door. Soon came in the three girls from earlier this morning. Miss Violet, Raven-haired, and small one as I currently called them. Raven-haired had her eyes closed while flashing a goofy smile and said loudly "Good Morning everyone!"

Instructor Cain laughed and said "Why don't you three introduce yourselves?"

"Gladly!" said Raven-hair. She sure was happy to do this…"Hi everyone! I'm Minama Rina! Just call me Rina ok? It's very nice to meet you all" she said smiling brightly. She reminded me of Selphie.

Violet smiled as well but not as brightly as Rina. "I'm Miyazawa Rushi" she told us.

"Call her Rushi!" Rina told us.

They both looked at the small one and whispered in her ear. She looked up at the class and blushed a bit. "Say it" I heard Rina tell her a bit sternly.

"I'm Missino Anbaa…call me Anbaa." She told us in shy tone. Rina just smiled brightly once again at us. I didn't know where they were from, but I thought they seemed like nice girls, they were all very cheerful and adorable. I thought I could get to be their friend. Instructor Cain told them to sit, luckily, next to me. Rina was the first to come over and sit next to me. She smiled at me and for the first time since I saw her open her eyes. They were a light shade of blue. Very bright and pale, like a sky blue color. From her smile she told me "It's nice to meet you, I hope we can be friends."

I smiled back at her and said "Me too. I'm Rinoa Heartily it's a great pleasure to meet you" we shook hands and she giggled.

"That's such a pretty name! I wish I had it!" she exclaimed.

"Better watch out Rinoa, she might just take from you." I heard Rushi's voice behind me and Anbaa laugh. I looked over to Rina and she carried a strange grin on her face.

**Oh my god I'm so sorry this happened! Now you can read the story in correct order.. thank god**


	2. To Forever

**Disclaimer: I own FFVIII i have the game right in my room.. *sigh* just not the copy rights.**

To Forever

I was sitting in my office. I never thought being commander could be so boring. Only thing I do is file paper work. There's hardly anything to give orders about. Rinoa was right about us not spending time together, but if its just to do this, its a waste of my time. Not only with her, but everyone else too. The Second Sorceress War, about a year and a half ago, brought us a lot closer together.

All the while thinking this, I got an idea. Quickly jumping from my chair, I headed to the Head Master's office.

Knocking at his door.

"Yes? Who is it?"

"Squall, sir. I wish to speak with you."

"

Come on in then."

Stepping into his office, I realized how shitty mine was compared to his. He had marble floor tiles, windows made with beautiful sparking glass when it hit the sunlight. His desk made of pure maple wood, not the fake wood shit. God damn. Brushing those thoughts aside. "Head Master, I wish to ask a favor from you.

I was pretty proud of myself this time around, and lucky for me, the bell for 5 period class rang, meaning it was time for lunch. I could see Rinoa, and tell her the great news. But damnnit , walking down Balamb Garden halls, when it's time to eat was hell. I would constantly bump into students, give them a glare, and revive a "Sorry Sir!".

Finally reaching the cafeteria, I looked around for my...girlfriend. That word would always bother me. Don't get me wrong, I love Rinoa, but the word itself was immature and didn't suit how I felt at all. I didn't think of this as a stupid teenage relationship, one at could end as soon as it started. It was much more than that, and she was much more than just a girlfriend.

"Looking for someone?"

Rinoa's sweet smile filled my vision, as she spun around in front of me. Gently she interlocked her arm to mine. I couldn't help but smile. ...god.. I was whipped...and she didn't even ask for anything.

"Ohhhh! Rinoa! Who's that?"

Rinoa and I both looked up. A young girl with long hair black was smiling at us, quickly skipping her way over. She was one of the girls from this morning, one who provided good morning entertainment.

"I told you who he was."

"Oh! So you're Squall!" She steps quickened and she made her way to me, and gave me a tight hug. It felt so weird, having someone else besides Rinoa do that..."Hiya! I'm Rina! Its very nice to meet you." Something about her reminded me of Selphie. I couldn't tell it was her cheerfulness, or the stupid look on her face.

" Hey Rina! He's not available!"

" I know that! What do you take me for?"

"Sorry if she bothered you. I'm Rushi. This is Anbaa" A small girl came up from behind her. She smiled respectfully, and bowed. I responded with my own awkward bow, not knowing what else I was supposed to do.

"... I'm Squall." But apparently they already knew that. Looking at Rushi, I couldn't help but ask "...hey.. is that your natur-"

A quick hand covered my mouth and dragged my body a good three feet away. " Squall! Don't say anything about her hair, she'd very sensitive about it." Rinoa's hand was removed from my face.

" My frikin bad."

Rinoa's hands were on hips and she continued to give me that scolding look. I responded with a small smile, knowing if I did she couldn't stay mad at me. It worked like a charm. Soon enough her face lit up. Taking this chance I thought it would be best to tell her the news now.

"Rin, I have something to tell and I think you'll be pleased."

"What is it?"

" I talked to Head Master Cid about the us spending time thing. He agreed to give me five days off, and I get to chose which days I use them."

Her lips curved from ear to ear. Her eyes, the twinkle in them grew bigger. Her body perked up, and threw itself at me. Her lips let out laughter, and her arms embraced me tightly, "Oh Squall! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I could feel all eyes on us from her loud exclamation of joy.

"So does that mean you guys are gonna go on a date?"

Little Anbaa stood in front of us. Her head tilted slightly, giving us those confused eyes, like a child trying to figure out where babys came from.

"Don't meddle in other peoples affairs." Rina informed her.

"Hypocrite." Anbaa said back.

I let out a sigh. I wondering when any one of them would shut the hell up and leave us alone. I looked back at them only to see Rushi giving me a vicious glare. What the hell did I do? I didn't say anything about her hair.

"Well excuse us, . We don't mean to bother you." Her voice was as harsh as her eyes. But something was different about them. Her emerald eyes illuminated a emerald glow. Golden rings were around her pupils. "Come on guys, apparently we're being a pain."

Oh that's what she meant. Wait! How the fuck did she know what I was thinking? Her eyes closed and opened again to reveal their old selves. She gave me one last glare and walked away. Rina waved happily to us and followed her. Anbaa smiled and walked beside Rina.

"We'll save you a seat ok Rinoa?"

Rinoa gave her a nod, and turned to me. "Squall did you something to upset her?"

"Did you hear me say anything? Besides the girl's probably fucking bi polar or something."

Rinoa playfully punched me in the arm, "Squall that's not nice!" Again she pulled me into a soft embrace. " ...so does this mean.. we get to go on a date?" Her eyes were soft, giving me that pleading look. I was never able to read people quite well, but I guess from being with her finally gave me that ability.

" Well I would have to move my plans around but I could manage it." Rinoa's face fell, her eyes became downcast. Crap, Damn. Shit. "Rin? .. What's wrong?"

" I...I don't want to be a burden Squall. If you're too busy then I don't mind wai-" Her words were cut short by lips crashing on hers. I put my hand behind her head, bringing her closer to me. I didn't want to hear her words of regret, telling she's sorry that shes was being selfish or anything like that.

" Rinoa, don't worry. I'm not doing this because I feel obliged to. I want to. I want to spend time with you too."

Rinoa gave a small nod. "Squall?"

"Hm?"

"Can we get food? I'm hungry."

I chuckled. "Sure. but do we have to sit next to the nut cases?" I was hoping we didn't for the reason that Rushi was going to glare at me the whole time and I wouldn't be able to eat. Not to mention I would have to say something to her.

"I promised Rina I would sit next to her. You don't have to though."

Now you tell me, what was the point of her saying that last line. She knows I'm going to sit with her anyway. I swear its something women do this on purpose.."It's ok Rin..." After getting out food we went to sit down with "them". As suspected I didn't get the best looks from Rushi. Rina and Anbaa was still nice though. But soon enough, I couldn't take it anymore. Rushi was starting to bother me at a whole new level. Before I could another bite my thoughts came out. I slammed my hand hard on the table, Rinoa jumped from my sudden burst, and I gave Rushi a harsh glare. " You mind telling me what the hell your problem is?"

Rushi didn't even look at me. Her facial features became one of a smug smile. "I have no problems, Mr. Commander." she told me in a smart ass tone. If it didn't make me look like an even bigger jerk, I would've popped her one right in the nose. "But it seems you do Sir. What's wrong? Talk to Dr, Rushi ." God she was a bitch. I felt a hand on my arm, Rinoa was staring at me giving me that look on her face. You know when someone looks at you and their eyes are filled with a sad concern? And you just think to yourself... wow... I'm being an ass... yeah that was it. I stopped giving Rushi a glare. I stopped thinking about punching her, and I continued to eat my food like nothing happened. Worst part about this whole this is, Rinoa was going to make me apologize for it later.

So after the most terrible lunch this month so far, Rinoa and I made plans for our...date. Rina put in some ideas and Rinoa asked if we could go on a star gazing picnic...women.. honestly..but it was fine because I had a surprize planed for Rin. I told her to make to dress beautifully.

"Why?"

"I have something to tell you later ok? Just make sure you do it." I kissed her forehead, and walked back to my office. On passing Rina I felt her body tense, her eyes were filled with worry. She kept looking at me, shook her head and quickly ran to Rushi. They really were a strange bunch.

After taking my seat I opened the drawer next to my leg. Inside it was a small velvet box. That's right. I was going to propose to her. Pledge my love, tell I want her and no one else, ask her if she would spend the rest of her life with me and whatnot. Irvine told me to wait until at least a year. I considered it, I knew it was too soon, but I figured we would only be engaged, we won't get married just yet. Look at me planing all this, and I didn't even ask her yet. I let sighed, and went back to my paper work.

We were sitting on a long red blanket. We just finished eating the wonderful meal she cooked up. She was leaning on my shoulder, I felt her breathing on my neck. The stars filled the sky, all shining and letting off a beautiful illuminating light. It was time. I was so nervous , thinking of when was the best time to pop the question. She did dress beautifully. Her body was covered in a ruby dress that reached her legs, and showed them as slits in the dress come from her lower thighs to her feet. She was stunning. Ok Squall, stop admiring her, and ask damnnit...

I sighed and turned to her. " Rinoa..." her eyes met mine, our noses nearly touching, her warm breath spalshing my lips. I felt my palm become moist with sweat, I let out a deep breath as I tried to continue without sounding like a moron. " I love you, and I would be honored if you would spend the rest of your life with me. Basically what I'm saying is... " I got down on one knee, took her hand, in a very knightly posture "...Rinoa Heartilly, would you make me the lucke-"

"Hi guys! Whatcha up to?"

...

Are you fucking kidding me? I finally get to bring up the courage, finally about to ask her something life changing, and Rushi, Rina, and Anbaa waltz their fucking asses in and interrupt me? The fuck man! Is the universe so against me that I can't do anything that would make my life a little bit more happier? Goddamnit! I had to leave, I knew if i stayed there any longer I would end up freaking out, and my chances to ask Rinoa would be over. So I snapped up, leaving poor Rinoa, confused as to my anger and stormed off, making sure I gave them all a harsh glare, even Anbaa. But I didn't expect this to happen. Rushi wasn't glaring back. She didn't even look angry. She looked sad, her eyes weren't at mine, and she looked guilty about something. I mean she was, she just interrupted my proposal... I just didn't expect her to notice, or feel bad about it at all. I was too busy feeling furious to care.

Soon enough she was following me.

"Squall. wait."

"I don't want to hear it!" My steps became quicken. I really didn't give a rats ass what she was going to say.

" Look I know we did something bad, and ... I'm..." She was having a hard time getting getting the words out, I guess she never apologized before in her life. "... and I'm sorry..." I had to turn around on that comment, another thing I never pictured her to do, apologize to me of all people. We weren't exactly on the best foot. I stared at her for a good while. " ... I can make it up to you. Ummm... the field! Where you too made your promise to each other. I can take you there, right now." I wasn't wondering how she could get us there, or how she knew the field, I was wondering how the hell she knew about my promise to Rinoa. As if to answer my thoughts she said with a smile, " I know more about you than you think Squall. A lot more. ...so can I take you to the field?" I guess even she can have her nice moments. I nodded at her. Proposing there would mean a lot more anyway.

A sudden flash of purple light appeared, the area around us became disordered and dark. A new area appeared, Edea's house, the flower field, and the small ruins next to us. Rushi didn't move at all, her eyes were glowing again, and she just kept staring. We were here. The amazing flower field was right below us. I saw Rinoa run down the hill towards us, she looked just as amazed as I did.

"Go get her!" Rushi said. She ran off with a wink.

"Squall, what happened? Are you ok?" Rinoa finally caught up to me, she looked exhausted. Her breaths were hard, and short. I embraced her. For the first time today, I was thankful to Rushi. "Squall? What's up?"

" Rinoa, does this place look familiar?"

She nodded, "Of course it does. This is where we made that promise."

In reply I nodded, took her hand and soon got down on my knee again. I heard a gasp escape her mouth as I pulled out the small red velvet box from my pocket. I knew that when I did this I was going to sound really fucking cheesy, But there was no other way around it. " Rinoa, I love you so much, and I would love it if we spent the rest of our lives to together..." I opened the box and showed her the ring, it was golden with a small red diamond on it. I'm not cheap, I just didn't have that kind of money. I let out a sigh and looked up at her, "... Will you marry me?"

Instantly I was on the ground. Rinoa was on top of me giving me a tight hug. I heard her cry and that just killed me. It probably meant in Rinoa terms, "I'm sorry Squall, I love you, I really do, but you're too damn angry, you fucking snap at everything, and ya know I need you to calm the hell down before I even think about marrying you. You pessimistic bastard. So no thanks for now." But it wasn't. Rinoa let out a small squeak, and crawled to see my face. Her eyes held many tears, but she was smiling, and laughing,... a lot.

"Oh my god... I can't... I can't ...be..believe thi..this.." Rinoa was talking between breaths, and with each one, she cried more. I was able to shift myself so that I was sitting and Rinoa still had her arms around me. I place my hand on her cheek and made her look at me. Her face was still happy and I still felt like a moron for not knowing why. Maybe she was happy she could finally laugh at me for actully asking something so stupid. I couldn't help but sigh, as these thoughts overflowed my mind. I think I need to see a doctor of some kind. Being this negative was probably not normal.

"Rinoa, I understand if you-"

"Yes! Yes! A million times yes!" she cried out, and crashed her lips into mine.

"Wha..?"

"I'll marry you Squall! I would like nothing more." She said with a smile.

My mind simply didn't place it. She said yes, what more is there to understand? Wait...yes... that wasn't no that was "I want to marry you too, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you"...not.."Fuck off, I can and will find someone better than you." I let that sink in for a while. Soon I was laughing my self. I couldn't believe it. Take that you pessimistic asshole. I didn't stop laughing and I held her just as tightly as she was holding me, maybe more.

All around us we heard cheers, and yells of "congratulations". All of our friends were there. Irvine, Selphie, Zell, and Quistis. Not to mention, Rushi, Rina and Anbaa. I looked back at Rinoa. Her eyes were still filled with tears but they stopped falling. I extended a hand, which she took. We both stood up and I didn't let go of it. I gave her a small smile and slipped the ring on her finger. She threw her body into mine, and we shared our first kiss as an engaged couple.

Irvine thought it would be a good idea to have a party. I went with the idea thinking it would only be us. But, no. After Rushi did her crazy transporting magic, we were in a room, with every staff member, every junior candidate, and almost every SeeD member shouting congratulations in our ears. I promised myself would give Irvine a good jab in the face after this.

"Irvine how did you get all these people here?" Rinoa asked.

"Me? It was all Squall's idea! He's was really happy to ask you." Irvine let out a good laugh and walked away. What the hell. Of course Rinoa wouldn't believe it was me. I hate parties, meetings, any kind of social event. Irvine figured that out after taking two steps forward. He turned right back around. "Well He didn't say 'let's have a party' but in a way he said ' it would be nice if there was some kind of celebration' so I rounded up everyone...and.. and.. you know what.. I was my idea, not his, mine. There I said it. Squall isn't going to get laid anyway." And with that he left again, leaving me with that thought. Making love to Rinoa would certainly make a great finish to a great day. What the hell was I thinking? This is what I get from being friends with Irvine.

Well the party itself wasn't that bad. There were plenty of decorations. Streamers, balloons, ribbons hanging from the ceiling, and a big, I mean fucking huge banner hanging right in front of you, it had a big "x: over the words " IT'S A BOY" and on top of it it read "CONGRATULATIONS!" Obviously our friends aren't very original on what to say when two people get engaged. ...They were cheap too. But I guess it was pretty nice. In a way. Plenty of food, such as cake, pizza, like a birthday party or something, expect for the fact there was drinks. Hardcore alcohol drinks. It lasted a long 2 hours with people getting drunk left and right. I had a good few drinks myself, to the point where I was a little buzzed.

Laguna was there... After he told me he was my father, I wanted nothing to do with him. But I learned where I my stubbornness from, He stilled made way to go to Balamb to visit me to patch things up as he called it. Under Rinoa's orders I surrendered to meeting him and "getting to know him better" my sourness towards him didn't seem to bother him. It was probably expected.

"Hey Squall, congratulations."

"None of you think of something original. Do you realize how many times I heard that word today?"

Laguna looked up for a minute. "Heh... I know what you mean. You think of what you want to hear Squall."

I pondered a better word for this occasion... there were hardly any...

Laguna let out a small laugh. "No words huh?" I shook my head. "Well Squall just be happy there are people who care about you and Rinny. Who want to celebrate this special moment with you. "

"Right... thanks."

"No problem. Now if you excuse me, I'm getting some cake." But then suddenly, afell backwards.

"I'm so sorry!" Anbaa did one of her bows and kept apologizing over an over until Rina came over and put her hand over Anbaa's mouth.

"Hehe, sorry about that sir."

"Oh don't worry about it. Nice to meet cha! I'm Laguna Loire, Squall's father." Cringe.

Rushi's eyes went huge. " ...Wait.. You're telling.. That you're that stiff's dad! Holy shit!" ...To be honest, I couldn't get angry... I couldn't believe I was that fool's son either. Laguna just sat there and laughed his ass off. Then her put his arms around all of them. How, I'm not sure.. his arms aren't that long...

"You guy's are adorable! I wanna adopt you!" ...What? He's not serious is he?

"Can you even do that?" Rina asked. She seemed very excited though... Laguna looked up a bit, as if to ponder thought... then he had a big grin on his face.

" Well I can't officially, but can pretend." ...He's such a moron. Soon After they all jumped on him shouting "papa!". Laguna laughed a bit. " Looks like I' have six kids now!" ...six? And he's happy about it? Wait.. how the hell does he have six?

" Six kids Papa? Wow you're a busy man..." Rina commented. Laguna's face fell a bit pale, and started laughing his ass off... again.

" No, No! See I have Squall" Cringe. " And my Elle, I just "adopted" you guys, and Rinny."

"Oh yeah.. she's gonna be your daughter in law right?" Anbaa asked.

" Yep!"

Suddenly Rushi ran her ass over her and tackle hugged me to the fucking ground. ...Rushi did... put that in your mind for a moment. "Now you have to call me big sister!" ... what?

" ...Why is Rushi elder sister?" The way she took things was more of a 5 year old.. then again they all act a quarter of their age.

Rushi's face made a pout. "I happen to be 19 ya know! Rina's 16 and Anbaa is 15." Un-fucking-believable. " You don't believe me do you? "

" I believe that they are younger than me, but you being older is not quite clicking into my mind."

Rina started laughing. "It's cuz you act like a 5 year old!" That's calling the kettle black...

"Look who's talking baka!" You can guess who that was. While they started having their little fight I found my out, to find Rin, and tell her that I getting the hell out of here.

I caught Rinoa almost tripping over her own feet. "Hey Rin, are you doing ok?" Rinoa was giggling like a maniac. She turned to me and her face was glowing a shade of red. Her eyes started to widen. She squealed... loudly.

" Oh! Squall! Looky! Looky! It's snowing!"

What?

Snow?

In Balamb?

Is that possible?

We're on the friken equator!

"Are you sure Rin?"

"Squall, there's pretty white stuff falling from the sky. What else would it be? Dandruff?"

"True true..."

Rinoa suddenly made her way to me, giving me a smug smile. "Hey Squall, I got an idea. Why don't we.." She had one arm around my neck and her other hand on my chest. Her finger started running little circles on it. Rinoa's lips were right next to my ear and continued what she was saying in a seductive voice. "...celebrate our own little way?" Now I had to make a choice. Have an awesome time with my slightly drunk fiancée or, be a gentleman and regret my only chance to this, besides the honeymoon? Ok first play the gentleman card, see how it works.

"Rinoa, How many fingers am I holding up?" I had to make sure she wasn't delusional.

"Three. But there's a problem with them."

I quickly examined my fingers, for food, cuts, anything. But there was nothing on them. " ...which is..?"

"None of them are in me."

"..."

Oh shit. I finally understand why underage drinking is illegal. It turns the shyest of people into sex crazed psychos.

And I loved it.

I gave Rinoa a smirk and grabbed her hand. "For now anyway." At that moment I knew I was buzzed myself. She giggled a bit and let me lead her away. Nobody noticed us. Quickly we were in my dorm room.

As soon as we entered I grabbed Rinoa and crashed her lips onto mine. Rinoa gave out a small moan grabbed a fistfuls of my hair and we made our way to my bed without breaking the kiss once. My tongue slid across her bottom lip, she complied and opened her mouth. I touched my tongue to hers just to earn a moan.

My hands stroked her sides, slightly touching her breasts. My hands moved up to pull off the small straps of her red dress. I unzipped the back of her dress, and swiftly pulled it off, to reveal a black bra and underwear. She took off her heels. I kissed her neck before licking down to her chest. Rinoa's backed arched a bit to me and her hands moved down to the rim of my shirt, pulling it off. My body almost went on auto-pilot. I had the strongest need to kiss, lick, and just to goddamn take her, and both of us were loving it. I moved to unclip her bra and toss it across the room. Rinoa slightly blushed and I wasn't sure if it was drinking or embarrassment. I moved my lips from the middle of her chest to her left breast, my hand moving to the other. I pressed small kisses around the the swell and made my way for her nipple. My tounge made circles around it and my thumb did the same on the other. Rinoa let out soft moans and unbuckled my belts. Trying to help her out, I kicked a little getting my pants and boots off. All that was left between her and I were my boxers and her panties.

I began to stroke her sides and moved my hand down to the rim of her panties and swiftly took them off, at the same time she took off my boxers. It was then I completely stopped. It hit me. This was actually happening. I looked at Rinoa to see how she was, and by the look on her face she realized this too. The alcohol wore off... and that was what was driving me. Rinoa's face went even redder than before.

"...Squall...I'm... I'm a little scared..."

"..Do you want to stop? I wont force you into this."

Rinoa's eyes widened a bit, then she giggled "Oh Squall! That wasn't why I was afraid... I was thinking... that I might not.."

"What? Might not what?"

"...Satisfy you...?"

"..." Only her.

She turned even redder if that was possible. "...say something.."

" ...Rin... have I ever told you...that sometimes .. you say.. things... that don't help people's out look on your intelligence?"

"You're such a jerk!" Rinoa laughed again, and her arms were around my neck. "Can we make it a little more romantic?

"

"As you wish... and Rin?

"Yeah?"

"You're beautiful."

I kissed her again, this time it wasn't crazy lustful kissing, it was soft gentle and passionate. I stroked her thighs and spread her leg apart, positioning myself between them. Before I did I looked at her for reasurence. She gave a small nod, and I planted a hard kiss before entering her. God it felt good. It was wet, and so tight. But Rinoa didn't share my pleasure, she let out a loud scream in our kiss, the hands that were so tenderly wrapped around my neck were now hawk talons digging into my back, and the once innocent, embarrassed face was covered in tears. I felt like such a bastard, but when I tried to pull out, she kept me in place, and shook her head.

" ...No.. It's ok..I can handle it..."

I nodded this time, and gave a slow pace, to let her get adjusted. I hated that way she clenched her eyes and cried from the pain... pain I was giving her. But after a while her whimpers of pain became loud moans of pleasure. So I started to go faster, making our own rhythm. Out of her mouth escaped my name, it made the pleasure of the while moment so much bigger. I wasn't happy with it yet, my mind told my body to not stop there, no it wanted to hear her scream my name in pure delight, my body moved faster and faster until it was getting what it wanted. My groans, turned to loud moans, following her example. Soon I began to give, and I could she was too, for she became louder, and louder with every thrust. One last scream of my name came from her before we both gave in, my head pounded a little, and I collapsed on top of her.

"...Wow..."

"That's an understatement Squall..."

Her fingers tangled themselves in my hair, stroking my head. Her lips curved and placed a small kiss on my cheek. I manged to gain muscle strength back and rolled off of her. Her arm wrapped itself around my waist and she let out a small sigh. " I love you."

"And I you." I never felt so ... complete i guess would be the right word... in my life. This is why in the olden days, when lovers did this they called it being whole, That was exactly what it felt like.

We had become one, to the new fallen snow, and sleep took us.


	3. Forsaken

**Each chapter will alternate between Squall and Rinoa's POVs.**

Groaning I rolled over. Beams of light hit my closed eyes.

It was morning

Sunlight...

Sunlight always hits your face when you least want it to.

Sunlight likes to wake you from you from a comfortable and soft sleep.

Your nice dreams.

It likes to act as an alert telling you that's it's time for school or work.

School...

Work...

Homework...

Projects...

... Holy crap!

"THERE IS A PROJECT DUE!" I shouted as I shoot up from my bed nearly falling off of it. That would have been the second time in two days. Squall grunted at my sudden outburst and put the pillow over his head. He pulled it away from his face and looked up, raising an eyebrow.

"Rin.. was there a reason for that?" I laughed nervously and nodded my head.

"Yeah actually, there is. Instructor Cain assigned a big project that is due Monday!"

"Oh... ok..." Squall then put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. When my skin touched his bare chest I remembered the events of the night and blushed a good tomato red. I was slightly drunk but I knew what was going on. During it I was feeling so many emotions. I think he was too. His short, gentle breaths caressed the skin on my neck. I looked up only to see him smiling. Getting engaged at seventeen wasn't really on my make-believe five year plan. And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep very little company together nowadays.

Squall ran his fingers through my hair and pressed his lips to my forehead. I nuzzled my head into his chest, we were just laying there, feeling each other's warmth. It was so bliss. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. But soon Instuctor Cain's voice appeared in my mind, nagging and yelling. Telling me "Hey you! You with the face, you have a project young miss. One that worth twenty percent of your grade! So get away from your boyfried, I'm sorry, fiannce, and get to work!" But then in my mind, I imaged myself shoving a big sock down his throat to shut him up. I laughed to myself and Squall looked at me questionally.

"Nothing, just thinking."

"We should get up soon." He pointed out. I looked at the clock noticing it was around noon. Either our session yesterday was longer than I thought or we slept in really late. Luckly it was it Saturday. Slowly...very slowy...I removed myself from his warmth and nodded.

"I guess so...but..."

"It's nice right? Being like this..." He laid back down hands behind his head. "I wouldn't mind just staying like this." He turned to me with a his radiating smile on his face. " It feels almost like a dream."

"Yeah..it.." I remembered yesterdays' dream. For some reason it was still bothering me. I would have to him about it sometime...

"Thinking again?" I snapped out of my thoughts. Squall had a worried look on his face. "You... you... don't regret...saying yes do you?" Squall was always too pessimestic. I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Quit being so insecure. I told you, I want nothing more than be with you." I smiled softly and placed a kiss on his lips. "Ok, we should really get dressed soon. We missed out on breakfast, and you know that's my favorite meal of the day, and soon we're gonna miss lunch...I like that meal too..."

Squall chuckled, "You eat like a pig."

"Nah-uh! Pigs eat really messy like. I eat neatly... I just eat a lot..."

"Sure, sure. Alright let's get up now, or we're never gonna do it."

"Right. I get to take a shower first."

Squall's eyebrow raised. "And why is that?"

"Cause... you're not the one...covered in-"

"Say no more. Please."

"So you agree. Good." When I got up I felt a sudden cold. It was then I relized I was naked. "Squall...do have any clothes I could use?"

"What's wrong with your dress?" Squall was already grabbing a pair of pants, bluntly exposing his ass.

"It's for..." I really couldn't focus. You can't blame me, it was in plain view! "...for.. ummm. special occastion...besides.. it's umm..." I shook my head quickly trying to get it out my mind. "...dirty and crap so..."

Squall turned around, a smirk on his face. "You ok Rin?"

"I would be if you freakin' covered up!" I pulled the blanket over my head, trying to hide my embrassed face. I felt the bed shift, the blanket was removed from my head. Squall smug face replaced the white of the blanket.

"You weren't complaining last night."

"Well I didn't have to stare at that when we were doin' it! Now let borrow some clothes!" Squall smiled again, placed a kiss on my cheek and threw the pair of pants onto my head.

After a nice warm shower, I dressed up in Squall's white tee, leather jacket and and some navy blue pants. My hair was up in pigtails, sky blue ribbons holding them both up. I skipped out of Squall's bathroom and made a pose. With a hand behind my head, the other on my hip, legs spread I asked "Well how do I look?" Squall started laughing. No... not just plain laughing, it was a hysterical laughter, so bad his eyes were teared and he was grabbing his stomach in pain. The only thing I thought was...do I look stupid?

Squall calmed down a bit and wiped his eyes. "You look so cute." That was it? ...Wow... I've seen people laugh because of cuteness but.. that was a bit over the top. "Sorry. It's just that...my clothes are so big on you, and the pigtails...you set me up for that."

"So ...cute right?

"Very."

"Good..aww damnitt! We missed lunch! I'm hungry..."

So Squall ordered some room service and we parted ways. I had to meet with Selphie and Quistis, and he, even though it was a weekend, had to get to the office and file papers, or whatever the hell it is that commanders of Garden did. He was right though...his clothes were preety big on me. The garmits intoxiced me with his scent. Sometimes I would stop walking and hold the sleeve to my nose, just to breathe it in. Anyone who stared at me would recieve "What! It smells good!"

First things first, I needed to tell him about my dream. it was bothering me a lot, and when you have a dream like that, you know it means something. I had to get it out of my head so I could think about other things. So I went to the best dream interpeter I know, and so I began my serch in the cafeteria.

"Irvy! Hiya!"

That's right.

Irvine Kinneas.

This man had been like an older brother to me for a long time. Though he was known for his womanizing, Irvine gave great advice, and it would always help. Of course he would throw in a perverted joke after his advice, but that was usually to lighten the mood. Irvine diverted his attention from a red haired girl he was talking to, and gave me one of his famous winks. It seemed like he ended his conversation with the girl and started heading over to me.

"Ah, Rinoa, what can I do for you? Squall getting boring? Looking for a more wild man?" Irvine said after he gave me a kiss on the cheek. "You look really adorable in that outfit." Oh.. so Squall wasn't lieing to make me feel better. Cool.

"Yeah, you wish. I'm actually here, cause I need your help."

"Squall wasn't as good as you thought, was he?" Irvine said while he was playing with my pigtails.

"He was a better lay than you."

Irvine let out this gasping, offended sound. His finger was pointed at his heart. "That hurts right here." We laughed together and found a seat at a small table and I began to tell him about my dream. He seemed really focused as he listened.

"Damn Rinoa. Leave it to the sorceress to have a dream like that. To be honest.. I can't really figure it out." I twitched at the sorceress remark. Still wasn't used to that.

"Nothing? At all? "

"Well...I don't think you want to hear this.."

"Just tell me." The curiosity was agonizing.

"I can tell you one thing. It's a foresighting dream. It's about something in the future. If I'm interperting this right...Rinoa...You probaly going to lose something dear to you." Great. Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut? Why didn't I let it slide like I do other nightmares?

"Something dear? Like what?"

Irvine just shrugged. "Only you can answer that." With a nod I walked away but not before Irvine called out "You sure that's all you came here for? You don't want anything else?"

"I'm sure Irvy! No thanks!"

"Damn." I should really go feed Angelo. Poor little guy must be so hungry. Speed walking towards my dorm room I tried to open the door, but my hand trembled. Shook. Felt weak. Though I didn't show it to Irvine, what he told me...had really affected me. Nothing but fear struck me when he said that.

"You probaly going to lose something dear to you."

Those words rang in my head. Something dear...something dear...

"Only you can answer that."

Dammit Irvine! Why couldn't he be like a fortune teller and lie!

I was pouring food in Angelo's and pondering things that were dear to me. "Let's see...well my friends are dear to me. Famliy. Garden. Ummm ...Squall...and food! Food is dear!" Angelo wimpered before taking a bite of his Kibbles n' Bits. He was probaly wondering why I didn't think of him. "Well of course you dear to me Angelo! I just didn't say it out loud becuase it was so obvious!" I giggled and petted his head. He stopped eating and the dog's version of the 'yeah right' face. Wait... if Angelo was dear... I grabbed his poor little head and screamed "How old are you boy? Don't you die on me! We fought way too many battles for you to givin' up on me now!" What if that was it? I trained Angelo to fight ...without asking him if it was ok! What if he didn't want to fight? What if he got really hurt? I grabbed Angelo and gave a hug a bear would call powerful. "I'm so sorry!"

Angelo decided to take this chance and nip on the boob. His way of saying "I can't breathe!" I quickly let go and rubbed it. So after Angelo finished eating I opened the door and let Angelo out to run around. I was allowed to do that, thanks to Headmaster Cid. Now it was about time to meet with Selphie.

I was nearly there, when my head pounded. Surging pain just attacked my head. I tried to lean againsht the wall for suport. I just ended up on the floor grabbing my head and screaming. A brunette teenager saw me, he was probaly only about fifteen. He tried to help me up, I looked at him to say thank you, but when my eyes met his, he let go of arm. He looked terrified. His voice was but a wimper when he turned around and booked. I looked my reflection in the window.

My chocolate browns eyes had become snow white. Pure white...and they were glowing. My normal pale face had markings from ears leading to my eyes, the same crystal, snow white. The markings resided on my cheeks as well. I could see why that freaked out. I let out a scream, soon after the ounding my head stopped. My face was back to normal. Everything looked like should've. I started hyperventaling, trying to tell myself it wasn't real. A trick of the mind, since it was hurting so badly. I knew it was real, that child was there, and he was terrifed of me too. He wouldn't be scared if it was just my headache. He saw that what I had. There was no lieing to myself.

I leaned on the wall again, this time to help me up. My legs were weak, still frozen from my fear. I took slow, easy steps for the rest of the way to the front gates. The meeting place Selphie and I decided upon. There I was, not only Selphie, but Quistis, Rushi, and Rina too. Rina was the first to notice me, she starting jumping around and motioning me to hurry up. I smiled back and walked a bit faster. Selphie ran up to me and gave me a tight hug.

The white snow that was left from last night reflected bright light into my eyes. Balamb wasn't supossed to have snow. So last night was a real mircle. But natually, as nature would take it, the heat from the island continent melted most of it away, leaving little piles of snow here and there. Still it was a beauty.

"You sure took your sweet time." Selphie said as she pulled me towards the others.

"I know, sorry. I was talking with Irvine."

I noticed how Rina and Rushi were clothes completly different that I expected them to. Rina's dark hair was in a spikey bun. One of the two strips of hair, that hanged from her behind her bangs, was put into a braid, She was wearing a white t-shirt that had red lining on the bottom and on the sleeves. It also had a zipper in the middle of it. On her right arm she was wear a white cloth that had a black strap with what seemed like a holster with a cute feather design on it. She was wearing white shorts with two belts going across it, similar to Squalls'. On her Shorts was a chain that was connected to another holster on her left leg. Her right leg had a series of three small belts on it. Knee high boots were her foot wear, they both having chains criss-crossing around them. To finsh off this complicated outfit, a pair of red googles hung around her neck.

Rushi was wearing a black headband on her forehead. Parts of her violet hair were put put into small braids with beads on them. She was wearing a white long sleeve jacket with a black design around where a zipper would be . Her hands were covered with combat gloves, showing her fingertips. She wore a pair of loose black pants, a single green belt loosly hung from her waist falling to the right. Her outfit not as complex as Rina's.

Rina smirked "You sure that was all you were doing?"

"Huh? Well I woke up at noo-"

"Why did you wake so late? Are you pregnent Rinny?" That time it was Selphie.

I felt my face flush. "Y-you..don't pregnent after the first do you?"

"First day of what Rinoa?" Quistis.

"Umm..." That's right... Squall and I snuck out of our own engement party.

"Did you and Squall make love?" Selphie asked with a smirk.

"Wh-wha!" I asked stupidly. My face felt even hotter than before.

"Or was it sex?" Rushi smiled.

"There's a difference?" Me again.

Rina squealled and jumped up. "Oooh I knew it! Squall and Rinny sittin' in a tree F-U-C-K-I-N-G!"

"It wasn't even like that!" I cried out.

This time Quistis smirked. "So something did happen."

"You guys are mean." I pouted.

Selphie giggled. "Don't worry Rinny. We saw you guys leave."

Shit.

"Yeah, you weren't extacly ninjas." Rushi smiled. "So, shopping right?"

Then it hit me. The cute blob of brown wasn't around. "Where's Anbaa?" I mean, whenever I saw Rushi or Rina, Little Anbaa was always with them.

Rina seemed to be alerted by my question.

"Umm... Anbaa? She..ummm.." How can could she not notice Anbaa wasn't there?

Rushi took a step foreward. "Anbaa didn't want to come. She's not a big fan of shopping, especially for clothes." Rina happily nodded at Rushi's response.

Strangely...something didn't feel right.

Selphie changed the subject with " So is there a baby in there Rinny?"

"How the hell should I know?" I looked over to Quisits nonverbally asking for some help.

"Well, you wouldn't know until around the first month. So don't worry about it now Rinoa"

"Right... got it." Squall would die if he found out I was carrying a child.

We began towards Balamb town, which surprisingly enough had some pretty good stores. Selphie told me to resevere a wedding dress. I told her not to worry about it, Squall and I weren't going to get married soon anyways. Besides it wasn't even legal!

We were having a pretty good time. We even stopped for a bite to eat at a local cafe. But there, Rushi said something that was really odd.

"Rinoa? Are you ok?"

I took a bite of my cheeseburger. " Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

Rushi took a bite of her apple. "Have you felt any pain lately?"

Was she talking about my headache? ...Wait.. How would she know that?

"Umm...no?" I wasn't really sure if I should give an honest answer, the way she knew stuff was.. kinda creeping me out.

"Are you sure? Nothing?"

"Not at all." Rushi nodded and stayed quiet for the rest of our meal time.

Today... was.. really weird.

"So what's the difference between making love and sex?" I was trying to start a conversation with Rushi again, She stayed quiet the way home too. It seemed she was pondering something, not to mention, sometimes her eyes would the freaky glow thing.

Rushi's head snapped, from what seemed as thought. "Huh? What?"

"What's the difference between making love and sex?"

"Oh...well.. making love is more romantic and umm... sex.. is just sex." she went right back to thinking.

"Oh.. ok.." That plan failed. "So... how did you guys know I didn it with Squall?"

Rina hopped her way over hearing my question. "Well, you woke up late. You blushed when we mentioned it, and the final piece of the puzzle was..." Her finger pointed at me "... you're wearing his clothes."

"It smells good." I said putting the sleeve near my nose again.

Rina tugged at my other sleeve. "Can I wear it? Please?"

"Nope!" I ran off when Rina gave chase. I was a good seven feet away from Balamb Garden. The front gate was right there, and I think I can saw Squall walking out the gates too. But then it happened again.

The surging pain in my head. I fell face foreward, my body became weak as I startyed writhing in pain. Twisting, grabbing my head, and screaming were the only things I knew at the moment. I saw a flash of white. An enourmous amount of pain shot from my back. I heard the sound of ripping fleash. Blood splattered on the the cement floor next to me.

More screaming.

More writhing.

More pain.

And..

Feathers.

Feathers everywhere.

If I opened my eyes, I would see them. But I barely did that. The pain from my head, back and my entire now, kept my eyes clenched. I heard several voices cry out my name, saying the words "What's wrong? What's happening?" No way to respond. No way to tell them the hell I was going through right now. I tried to open my eyes to see who was around me, trying to comfort me. Tears blocked my visual. Blurry.

I heard one last call of my name before I blacked out.

Squall...

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Blink.

Tick.

Breathe.

Tock.

Shift,

My life has been like this for the past four days.

Sitting.

Watching.

Waiting.

Four days since white wings appeared on Rinoa's back.

Four days since I heard her scream in pure agony.

Four days since I felt my heart rip a hole in itself, because that pain wasn't as great as hearing her cry out my name, thinking I would be able to help her.

After that, Laguna grabbed the Ragnorok, and drove us to Esthar. There we lay in wait.

Hoping.

Praying.

We've been here for four days. Rinoa hasn't moved. She hasn't made a sound. The sign she was alive were the short quiet breaths that escaped her mouth.

This was the second time she had been in a coma. It wasn't less harder to deal with. I sat there. Beside her. Held her hand. And pleaded...begged... for to wake up.

We brought her to Dr. Odine, a scientist trained in anything having to do with magick, and sorceresses. He was no fucking help at all. He said he would have to wait until the subject had awoken. Subject? She wasn't a fucking experment! She wasn't here for him or his fucking reserch. She didn't have a choice in being here.

So here I've been. For four days. Hardly do I move from my chair. Hardly do I blink, eat, drink, sleep, or even go to the bathroom. I didn't want to miss it. I wanted to be there. I wanted to be there when her opened and she said sorry for making me worry. If it was time to eat, Selphie would bring me food, and some water. I would eat, but my eyes were fixed on Rinoa.

Slowly...ever so slowly.. she moved. Her eyes flickered slightly. I quickly put the plate of food in my hand on the table next to her bed. I reached for hand, held it so tightly and pressed against my forehead.

"Rinoa?" I would call out, trying to get a reaction. Nerver would it work. But today... today it did. Rinoa's eyes opened slightly. I was so happy I might've cried. Rinoa stared. That's all she did. Stare. I smiled. "Hey...what's wrong? You ok?"

Rinoa blinked... that's all.

"Rinoa?" This time she began to look around. As if she was looking for someone. As if she was looking for the object of my words. "Yes dummy. I'm talking to you." I said in a humorus tone.

Her next words...

They were something I never wanted to hear.

I would've rather died than hear those next three words.

"Who are you?"


	4. Being Human

**Foosh! Rina here! My dear God it's been a long time, and I'm really sorry about that. I don't have the lie of saying that I was busy, the only thing I was doing was playing video games.**

**Number ONE thing right now. Forgive me for Squall's anger….**

Being Human

They say that there are five stages that occur within a person when they deal with hardship. They say that you go through them to help you accept the horror that you just had to face.

Denial.

"Rinoa that's... that's not funny." No reaction. "Please don't joke like that..." My voice was weak. No reaction. She had to be joking. She does that. All the time. So she had to have been joking right now.

"I'm sorry mister... are you talking to me?"

I began to laugh. It wasn't joyous laughter. It was dry, humorless, and vain. There was no emotion behind the sound. Yet, I continued to do it. I laughed loudly at first, almost sounding evil. Like a villain's laugh from an old super hero show. But when I noticed Rinoa's frightened face my laughter died down. She wasn't laughing with me. Why? Wasn't this suppose to be funny? A prank? Something that even I would find humor in a couple of years?

I stopped and looked into her eyes dead on. "...Again. Not funny."

Her hands gripped the blanket near her for comfort. She tried to make it unnoticeable. "I...I don't know what you're talking about mister. P-please stop staring at me like that... it's scary."

No way is this happening. "You really don't remember who I am Rin?"

She just shook her head. "I'm sorry. I really don't. Umm... can I ask you a question?"

My hands clenched into fists. My head was low, enough for me to stare at the floor. This wasn't happening. I wanted her to giggle at me say something like "Do you realize how silly you look right now?" I was hoping that would be her question.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Do... you know… who I am?"

My head snapped up.

No.

"Rinoa... you really... don't remember a thing?"

She looked at me in disbelief. "Sir... I just told you... I don't know where I am, who I am and who you are... please can you just answer me..? I'm... scared..."

With that said, Laguna and Dr. Odine had walked in through the automatic door to the room. My breath hitched and it soon became a growl of rage. Laguna was ecstatic to see Rinoa awake, so much so that he ran to her side and immediately began asking questions, such as how she was feeling, is she hurt anywhere, etc.

But my attention was turned to the other being within the room.

Anger

With my fist clenched I ran to the doctor and threw his body into the next wall. As soon as I had heard the sound of his back against it my fist resumed to make contact with his face. Then my other hand quickly the helpless man's collar and proceeded to smash his body into the wall once more.

"What the fuck did you do to her Odine?" I shouted in such a rage I never knew I had. Soon I began to punch him again. Laguna quickly made his way to us and pulled my arm away before I could make the third punch to his stomach. Laguna had to restrain me by putting both my arms to my back and sweeping me so my body would hit the floor. He then rested a knee on both my arms and held my head.

Both Laguna and Odine were in great shock, but not as much as Rinoa. She seemed to be so frightened of me, that tears were coming from her chocolate orbs. Seeing that I calmed myself enough to stop squirming in Laguna's grip, but my rage did not subside.

"Have you gone insane Squall? What is wrong with you?" Laguna was shouting at me, but not in anger, his voice shook with worry, and his face was to match.

"It was him!" I began to scream back, my eyes still on the sorceress specialist. "Because of the fucking experiments he did on her! He did it!" I should have explained what the hell I was talking about, but instead my mouth only sounded words of blame and hatred. "Because of him! All those checkups he did on her with that gas! With that scan chamber! It's his fault!"

I had no logic. No reasoning. I assumed that the medical procedures Dr. Odine had done to Rinoa was the cause of her memory loss. I didn't have the thought in my mind until said doctor walked in Rinoa's room. I needed someone to blame.

Anyone.

And to me he seemed to make the most sense.

I was hurt and confused. To place the blame on someone else was a way to escape my emotions.

"You're scaring her."

My screams stopped as the scientist said those words to me. I raised an eyebrow at his statement. Sobs. I heard sobs fill the room. I tried to look over to the direction of the sound.

Rinoa was the source of the sobs. She was so terrified of me that she had the blankets to her face, covering her lips. She made the effort to look away when I met her gaze. Damn it. There was no way I could comfort her if I'm the one she was scared of. As my emotions calmed down, Laguna slowly made his way off me. His hands were at the ready in case I lunged for Odine again.

I rose and started to walk over to Rinoa, she sobs only grew with each step I took to her direction. It hurt more since I knew that I was the cause for her fear. She inched away from me when I sat down on her bed. Slowly I reached out for her face… She stiffed, and hit to the side.

"Don't touch me!" She screamed, the tears fell faster.

Laguna proceeded gently pull my shocked self away from her into the hallway. "The Doctor will see what's wrong with her okay? In the mean time you tell me what happened Squall."

Despair.

I fell against the wall and weakly began to punch the ground under it. "She doesn't know who I am…" I choked out. "She thinks I'm a monster now Laguna…"

My old man knelt beside and stopped my hand from hitting the floor again. "Squall you're going to have to explain that better."

"My whole life… Laguna… has been one step forward… three back. I finally get courage to propose to her… and she forgets who I am."

Laguna sighed and then sat down "Squall, I'm not following."

"She has no idea who I am! Where she is, why she's here, and now she's terrified of me!" I shouted.

"Who, Rinny?" Looking up gave me a clear view of our friends. Selphie's hand was carrying a bouquet of white roses. "I was hoping to give her these … Squall is everything alright?" I shook my head slowly and gazed at the floor.

Irvine 's voice perked up "She dump ya?" He chuckled slightly

"Might as well have…"

"Oooh, that bad eh? Can we go see her, maybe we can talk her out of it." Irvine joked.

"… if you can talk someone out of amnesia."

Irvine made his way over to me "Amnesia? You mean-"

"Rinny forgot about us? Some best friend she is!" Selphie exclaimed.

"…Yeah. I don't know how. She… just doesn't know who I am."

Irvine whistled loudly "Ooh boy what the hell is going on with that girl…?" He followed Laguna's example and knelt next to my defeated self. "You sure she's not just joking Squall?" I nodded weakly. "Damn… Look we're going to find a way to fix this. We promise."

"How can you promise that Irvine? You don't know how she looked at me. She's terrified of me." I held back tears that threatened to spill out on my eyes.

"Hey that's only the first impression she got of ya. It's a new Rinoa right now, so you can't expect her to understand why you're so upset. When I first met you I thought you were a moody, anti-social, jerk."

"Gee, I'm so thrilled."

"I'm not done." He chuckled "Now I know you're a great leader that cares for his friends but just doesn't express it. I know that Rinny will see you the way she used to. We'll find a way to get her memory back, and everything will be fine. I swear. For now we should be thankful she's awake."

I nodded weakly, it was reassuring to know someone had my back. It was false hope, we didn't know for sure if Rinoa will ever remember us, but it was hope nonetheless, and that was all I had right now. Laguna had walked back to Rinoa's room when we talking, so hopefully he had calmed her down.

"Now let's get you off the ground alright man? Your depressing atmosphere is killing me." Irvine smiled at me, and reached out for my hand.

Selphie patted my shoulder when I got up. "So how about we see what the doctor has to say about this okay?" She grinned widely and help me make our way back into Rinoa's room.

As we entered, Odine seemed to be done with his tests, we caught him putting away a needle and several other objects. I hated that man beyond all reason, I never trusted him and the way he talks about Rinoa just pisses me off. Unfortunately for Rinoa's sake I have to deal with it until she gets better.

"So what's the word Doc?" Irvine inquired. Odine began to chuckle, and that chuckle grew into a great big roar of laughter. I hated that man.

"Oh zis is quite simple children! For you zee, it iz only her powas. Nothing fatal. 'Az a matta of fact, the young zourcerzz zhould be zatble zoon. You vorry for not." I hated that man's stupid accent.

Laguna grinned "That's good news. Thank you Doctor." Good news? But this doesn't explain anything!

"But why can't she remember anything!" I asked.

"Vell you zee zhe doez not have control of her powas quite yet. Dey need a place to form and zettle, but Da girl haz not let dem do dat. Da girl zeemz to dink dat dese powas aren't good. Yadda yadda. Az her powas manifested dey needed a place to be harbored, but diz child did not let dem."

"That's great old man, now get to the part where you make sense." I was growing rather impatient.

"Zimple boy! Dey dook da place of her memoriez! Memoriez aren't hard dingz to be rid of, dey are not natural intinsct, nor do day hold together the way your body functions! Derefore dey are eazy to eraze. Vhy don you dink vhen there is a big accident and a person hitz dere head dey know how to do day to day functions but cannot remember a zingle ding? Zilly child."

"So that's it? No big deal?" Selphie asked, her voice filled with hope.

"Vell, it dependz, da girl might not remember everyding eva again."

I took a couple of steps over to him "You just said she should be fine soon!"

"Nu nu nu child, I zaid zhe zhould zatble, not with all of the memories." He replied cockily.

"So what do we do?"

"Vho knowz, now if you vill excuze me I have to get back to woak. Goodbye." With that the bastard left the room and us to ponder our next move. We couldn't just wait around, Rinoa might not even remember. Not to mention her powers might go haywire again.

"I heard Rinoa woke up!" Zell rushed in, he must have ran far, because his breathing was uneven and labored. "Is she okay?"

Laguna pointed to where she was laying, and Zell, Irvine , and Selphie quickly made their way over. Rinoa was bombarded with "How are you feeling?" and "Are you doing okay?" Poor Rinoa didn't know what to do, she just kinda nodded fast and smiled cutely at them. I sighed, I wanted to be near her, hold her, and tell her that I would fix everything. It would be all lies, because I didn't know what we're supposed to do.

I was lost.

At a time like this Rinoa would be my guide, she would help me travel the path that I couldn't see. Without a guide I had no way of knowing what I would do. Depending on people was something I hated to do but now I'm blind without them. In the end I was left on my own to make my own choices, just as I once believed. It wasn't fair.

Bargaining.

Maybe if I showed her places she would remember something. If I can get to remember the things that meant something she will realized who I am, and then we can both be happy. There had to be some easy way to do this, I mean she can't forget me forever can she?

God I had to do something before I go crazy!

"Um excuse me?" I looked up to find Rinoa uncomfortably smiling at me. I nodded showing her that she had my attention. "I'd like to say sorry for … uh… crying like that I guess. I didn't mean to make you feel bad…" She averted my eyes and looked towards the sheets on her bed. She gripped them tightly, she would do that sometimes when she was nervous, I was glad to see that at something stayed the same.

"It's alright, I'm sorry I scared you. I shouldn't have done that." I smiled weakly back at her.

"No listen. Mr. Laguna told me some stuff and now I know that you were just... worried about me. So I'm sorry." I couldn't help but make my over to her and wrap my arms around her. She was taken back and tired to push me away at first, but she soon accepted it. She hugged me back and whispered a thank you that was only audible to me.

"So now we have to find a way to fix this." Irvine stated.

"Fix what?" Poor Rinoa had no clue what was going on.

Selphie sat on Rinoa's bed and smiled softly at her. "Rinny, you have no memory of who you are, where you came from, what you're doing, and who your family and friends are. We're going to help you get your memories back."

"You would do that for a complete stranger?"

"Yes, but you're one of our best friends, so even more so." Zell responded this time

"That's right." I told her. "We'll be there to help you through it."

Irvine leaned against the wall and tilted his hat up wards "Question is, how do we do that?"

Zell grinned wildly "Quistis said she would look up things to help Rinny get better earlier, we can relay this to her and she what she can find."

"That isn't fast enough. We can't just wait around for research."

"Then what do you purpose we do?"

"I have an idea!"

All our gazes went the doorway where Rina, of all people, stood. She skipped her way to our group with a wide smile on her face.

"What idea do you have sweetheart?" Irvine inquired.

"The Shumi Tribe! They have a whole bunch of information on old spells that will definitely help a girl like her!"

Laguna smiled wildly "That could work! They're really nice people and intelligent!"

Selphie turned her head towards me "What do you think Squally-oh?"

"Get packing."

Acceptance.

We boarded a big dragon looking thing. Rina had explained to us that the…Shumi I think it was called, were ancient tribesmen that have been around for a long, long time. She said that they should have some kind of clue on what to do for a person like me.

Like me?

Was I any different from anybody else here? What made me so special? I was scared unlike the rest of them. Maybe it was that. They seemed to be completely confident of what they were doing. I had to put my trust in them.

Selphie had helped me get dressed and prepare for our trip. Irvine held my hand as I walked up the ramp to ship. He says a troubled lady shouldn't be walking on her own. Zell carried the supplies and Squall? Yeah Squall, he just looked sad.

We were almost in the ship when we heard someone call out us.

"Hey wait for us!" Rina was running in our direction with her two friends.

"You're not coming with us!" Squall called out.

"Yes we are!" Rushi replied. I had gotten to know them when Selphie was picking out my clothes, Rina made many suggestions.

Squall had thrown his things to the ground and marched back to the trio. "No. You. Aren't."

Rushi shot a glare at him and before I could blink she had pinned against the wall with a dagger to his throat. "We're coming. We never asked for your permission Commander. There's a task we're to do, and if you get in our way I will kill you."

**Do not worry, I will explain these horrible OC's in due time. Forgive the lack of updates up now I have a way to write more so I WILL!**

**The next chapter will be all Rinny's point of view. The only reason I switched was cause Squally got a bit of the last chapter.**


	5. I'm Sorry Everyone

**Hey guys, I'm so sorry about never uploading these damn stories. Beside the fact that I'm completely embarrassed by my writing, since I wrote it when I was like 14, I've been going through some stuff, and I had no motivation whatsoever. Recently my father passed away and with that amongst other things so you can imagine how I simply cannot do anything. **

**But! That isn't fair to guys, and now I have a laptop so I should get writing. It's a good way to escape. I also plan on writing ... better. I'm older now so I hope it's not as flat out crappy as it was before. So as a promise to you guys, I intend to have a new chapter of I'll Be Your Guardian up around sometime next week. I'll Be Your Guardian has gotten the most response from everyone so that'll come first. **

**Thank you so much for everything and I'm so so so sorry about all this. Thank you for your patience and I plan on rewarding you. **


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